Sense of Belonging

Photo by: Niada Cradle Photography

        We all have a desire to belong, a yearning to be known by others.  This sense of belonging is a universal trait that all humans share. We are happier people when we know that someone wants to be in our presence and share time with us.  However, we sometimes go about it the wrong way.  I know that I have.  One example was when I truly felt it was time to exit a particular relationship, but remained there longer than I should. Another example was when I remained in certain seasons of my life past the expiration date. I was blinded by an outdated way of how I viewed myself. I failed to see at those moments that time was still moving, but I was at a standstill, unwilling to move forward.

So why do we get stuck?  Why do we make wrong choices to gain that sense of belonging?  I believe that we remain stuck because we long to stay connected to the fragments of yesterday. We don’t want to face the fact that we need to say goodbye to “the good”, to say hello to “the greater”.  We may be scared of what the next chapter may bring.  We have built up trust in a particular process, person, or relationship to behave a certain way. We believe that we will be blessed as a result of sticking around. However, what we are expecting is an illusion of what was, and can be no longer.

That is not to say that goodbye means farewell forever.  It could just be that you are starting a journey down a different path that only intersects with your past, when a crossroads is necessary.  But, in my experience, the majority of goodbyes really mean goodbye and farewell forever.  And this is one lesson that I have had to learn over and over again.  When I have fought hard to secure this sense of belonging, I tried to pave a permanent road where a temporary bridge should be. 

           

I hated to admit that God was pointing me in a new direction because I feared change.  But change is the constant ingredient in the recipe of life. Change is necessary because without change, we fail to rise to our fullest potential. We fail to enter into those future relationships that support who we are and who we are becoming.  Yes, I admit that my longing to be known and accepted has gripped me tighter than it should have at times.  However, to gain that sense of belonging that I yearn for, I must let go of my expectation of how it should be met.  So, I pray this prayer:

Dear God,

Please fill me with more of You. I don’t want to look for my sense of belonging in a person, place or thing. Ephesians 1 tells me that You chose me in You before the creation of the world.  You made a perfect plan for me so that I would never be separated from You. You made this perfect plan for me in love, and through love. Please forgive my lack of surrender. I trust You in all seasons, including the season of change that is necessary in my life right now. I seek Your will in every area of my life.  Thank you for always leading and directing my path.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.