Matters of the Heart

Photo by: Ali Morshedlou

We are often fascinated by the prospects of a new relationship.  The possibilities of a new person entering our lives creates a state of excitement.  Our imagination is fueled by romantic notions of our prince finally arriving to save the day.

In my own experience, I have often forged ahead, riding high on exhilaration. However, in the initial stages of getting to know someone, I failed to pause and contemplate all that was taking place.  Being swept away by the thrill of my romantic notions,  I admit to my shortcomings...

I failed to guard myself in the process.  

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) says: 
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Your heart consists of your mind, will, and emotions, and is defined as "the central or inner most part, the essential or most vital part of something." (Merriam Webster, 2017) 

Broken Promises
My failure to guard my heart led me down a path of lost identity and broken promises. 

And this is how it looked.

I broke the promise I made to myself to not waste time constantly thinking about whether he truly loved me or not. 

I broke the promise I made to myself to never get wrapped up in the flattery, and sweet words he spoke so soon after we met.  

I broke the promise I made to myself to not give too much of my time before I got to know him better. 

Seeking Validation
I did not remain true to myself and sought validation elsewhere. 

And this is how it looked.

I sought validation in whether he called, or if he texted me back. 

I sought validation in measuring the amount of time that passed in the "in between" moments of communication.

I sought validation in whether he asked me out sooner...rather than later. 

I sought validation in whether he approved of my choices, regardless of how I felt.

Giving Control
I left my heart unguarded and open, giving control of it to someone else.

And this is how it looked.

I gave control of my heart to someone who never made me a priority. 

I gave control of my heart to someone who failed to show up in spite of his continued promise to do so. 

I gave control of my heart to someone who never learned how to truly love himself, but in turn, said he truly loved me.

Lesson Learned
And so, I share with you this one important lesson that I learned...

Guarding my heart, guided my path.

Guarding my heart guided me to the truth of the matter. 

When I began looking at the choices I made, I saw that I was not guided by right and pure motives.  

I saw that I was not guided by the accuracy of measuring how my heart was being broken.  

I saw that I was not guided by a complete and whole view of myself. 

I saw that I was not guided by footsteps that led to my supposed fairy tale ending.

I failed to guard my heart against the insecurity of "what ifs", doubting myself in the process.

I was not controlling my thought life and this, in turn, tainted my heart.

Each and every one of my actions showed me that I needed to strive for a healthy balance in my approach to dating and relationships.  

The Challenge
Therefore, I challenge you to learn from my mistakes. 

I challenge you to learn the value of protecting your heart.  

Always remember...never give away parts of yourself that were never meant to be taken.