The Top 5 Dating Myths Exposed

Photo by: Joanna Nix

Hello Single Mavens!

Recently, I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We were discussing the confusing world of dating, and I had the opportunity to share some lessons that I learned firsthand. As a result of that conversation, I wanted to devote this blog post to shedding light on some common myths that are often found in the world of dating.   

And just to be clear, these myths are generally from a female perspective J 

Enjoy!

Myth No. 1- There are not enough eligible, single men.

It is a common myth that there is a shortage of eligible, single men.  Likewise, if you are waiting for an eligible, single Christian man, you may believe that there is an even greater shortage.  However, you must challenge this myth head-on.

The biggest block to our destiny many times lie in the perspective that we take.

Challenge yourself to start thinking outside of the box regarding what your ideal partner may look like, and where he may be located.  Changing your perspective on who may be a suitable partner for you will open up doors in places you less likely expect. Changing your perspective on what you believe is possible also provides you with a level of confidence that is needed in the dating process. 

As a single woman, I had to learn the value in affirming myself. I learned the importance of faith, and remaining steadfast in my belief that having a godly marriage was indeed possible. It is important that you remain confident, and maximize each and every opportunity that is presented to you while dating.

Myth No. 2-The older I get, the lower my chances are of getting married.

You may be surprised at the truth regarding this myth. But, based upon data by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, passing years actually increases your odds of getting married.  Statistics show that by age 30, 74 percent of women and 61 percent for men are married.  In addition, your chances of getting married before reaching age 40 are even higher. If you are a woman, the odds are 86 percent that you will get married.  And for men, the odds are strikingly similar at 81 percent.¹   

Therefore, you can stop stressing out on whether or not you will ever tie the knot.  Research shows that most likely you will, due to the fact that more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50.

Myth No. 3- Remaining abstinent will hinder my relationship or marriage prospects.

Abstinence often gets bad rap in the dating world.  If you are a single woman, and desire to remain abstinent before marriage, you may fear sharing this truth with your dating prospects. Research does indeed support the fact that there are more women than men that practice abstinence. However, the data also shows that there are a fair number of men in that same ratio who also wait until marriage to have sex.  In the general population, the ratio of abstaining women-to-men seems to be about 60/40. ²

Myth No. 4-   I will be happier once I am finished with dating and in a permanent relationship.

Often times, singles believe the myth that finishing the dating process, and moving into a permanent relationship automatically makes you happier. I am the first one to admit that I have been blinded by this myth more than once. Due to romantic notions regarding relationships, it is easy to believe that it is a potential partners’ duty to provide happiness and fulfillment. 

Although being in a monogamous relationship brings fulfillment into your life, a relationship is not the only source of life’s fulfillment.

Interestingly enough, statistics actually show that the single best predictor of human happiness is the quality of social relationships.3 Therefore, it is best for all of us to continue building and sustaining our social network even after we are in a permanent relationship.

Myth No. 5-My education and/or degrees will hinder my dating prospects.

It is no secret that women are gaining tremendous ground in both the educational and professional arena.  Women outnumber men in colleges within the United States, attaining nearly 60 percent of total enrollment in 2017.4  However, the fact that women pursue higher education at a faster pace than men is not necessarily a dating deal breaker. 

Compatibility is the most important factor that singles need to take into account regarding educational differences within dating relationships.  A minimum level of compatibility, within a shared belief system, is the crux of a highly successful relationship. In addition, coming to an agreement on core values and beliefs further provides a firm foundation upon which to build a future relationship. 

Sources:

¹  (Paula Goodwin, Who Marries and When? Age at First Marriage in the United States, Centers for

    Disease Control and Prevention/National Center for Health Statistics, Data Brief 19, 2009)

²  (Mike, 4 Cool Statistics About Abstinence in the USA, November 30, 2012)

³ (Bella DePaulo, Dan Gilbert Changes His Tune on Marriage and Happiness, October 22, 2010)

⁴ (Alfred Lubrano, More Women with college degrees are marrying me without BA’s, November 27, 2017)