Maximizing the Wait

Photo by: Niada Cradle Photography

I am excited to continue posting in my latest blog series regarding marriage. 

This blog post connects to and expands Chapter 9: The Waiting Room of Expectation, as found in my book, “The Sweetest Transition: Lessons in Life, Love, and Self-Discovery.” In addition, today’s blog post directly connects to an event that I am hosting on March 10, 2018, entitled “The Waiting Room of Expectation: Finding Purpose in Your Singleness”.

I encourage each of you to register for this FREE event, where we will talk more in-depth about the topic of singleness and dating.  This event will feature life coach, Mrs. Kaye Hutchins, who will address how singles can start to maximize their opportunities as it relates to dating.  She will also address the blinders that some singles may have regarding potential marriage prospects. 

I encourage you to register for this FREE event and share it with your network.

Now, let’s start digging into this blog post a bit deeper...

Taking a Different Perspective

The purpose of this blog post is to look specifically at how singles, who have been in a prolonged state of singleness, can start to prepare for marriage in a more purposeful way.

It is my belief that singles who have been in a prolonged state of singleness sometimes let that prolonged state of singleness affect his or her ability to be proactive. Now, this is in no way a blanket statement for every single that may be in a prolonged state of singleness.  However, in my own experience, I must confess to having not been as proactive as I could have been in certain areas. Therefore, I admit to making some mistakes and having learned from those mistakes, I now want to take a different perspective.

It is my goal to encourage us, as singles, to start looking at our waiting room experience from a different perspective...a perspective rooted in proactivity.  And that is why I am challenging us to dig deeper and start asking ourselves some critical questions. 

I have three critical questions, to be exact, that I want each of us to consider. Seriously ponder your answers to these questions if you truly desire to minimize your time in the waiting room of expectation. 

Questions to Ponder 

Let’s look at question number 1...

1.    Make a list of the individuals that you have dated, or are currently dating. Have those individuals pushed or pulled you away from the priorities in your life?  I encourage you to look back and examine your dating life from the past year or so. Be as truthful as you can and ask yourself if each of those individuals have pushed or pulled you away from your priorities and/or goals in life.  I ask that you look to see if there was growth and/or progression versus stagnation in your life as a result of that particular relationship.


2.    Make a list of the individuals that you have in your friendship circle.  Are the individuals that you consider friends headed in the same or opposite direction you are headed in?  I encourage you to look at each of the friends that you spend time with and make an observation about each of their lives. Look to see if each of them are headed in the same direction, or the opposite direction that you are headed in.  This observation should definitely relate to your friend's desire for marriage; the choices being made in his or her professional, as well as personal life; and even the company that your friend keeps.  Look to see if you have a good indication of progression versus stagnation in each of your friend's lives. 


3.    Think about the boundaries that you place around your time and commitments made each week.  Do you have balance in your life regarding your time management and schedule?  I encourage you to truly examine the choices you make on a daily and weekly basis to see where you are spending your time. Are the areas that you spend time in conducive to where you would like to be in five years? Would your schedule and level of commitment work if you were to meet and start dating your future spouse? Are there areas in your life where you need to gain better balance regarding time management?

So, let's quickly recap...

Number 1:  Have the individuals that you have dated in the past year or so pushed or pulled you away from the priorities and/or goals in your life?

Number 2: Are the individuals that you consider friends headed in the same or opposite direction that you are headed in?

Number 3: Do you have balance in your life regarding your time management and schedule?

We will examine each of these questions more in depth in the next blog post.  However, I encourage you to take the next several days to ponder and write down your answers to each of those questions.

And, as always, I encourage you to subscribe to The Single Maven blog, and share with your network. Until next time...