Unyielding

In the pursuit of “restarting” my dating life, I pondered the options available.

Should I pursue a membership with this particular dating site again? Or choose another one?  

What about another round of speed dating?

Should I just go out more? What time of day works best?

Is any of this worth the time and effort it takes? 

Yes, you will find me in this moment in front of my laptop…muttering to myself…and asking God for an answer to my perceived dilemma.  I prayed for guidance, direction, or just some sort of sign regarding the “right option” to choose. Now this whole scenario may sound comical to some, and elementary to others. But deep down, I believe that my perceived dilemma is similar to many individuals.

My goal this year is to continue to take the route of transparency, and share my truth.   I believe that the sharing of my truth may be helpful to someone else. The sharing of my truth also helps me to clarify my life experiences, and provide a voice to the frustrations that I sometimes feel.

“Remain Unyielding”

So, did God answer my prayer?  To be perfectly honest, I really have not received any answers to those questions that I had. However, what I have received is a reminder that whatever route I choose, it will be okay.  Because, essentially, this process, this part of my life, is a faith walk. 

It comes as no surprise to me that there is no magic answer of sorts to any of my questions.  What I have come to find out is that my journey with God has entered a new, and different level of faith.  This level carries with it no specific marker in the road telling you that you have arrived at the perfect destination.  However, on this level you will find varying measures of assurance.

You will find measures of assurance through conversations with others on the same path.  You will find confirmation in the exact words you just wrote in your journal being mirrored in the words of a stranger you encounter. You will find that the noise in your head is quieted by a one sentence prayer, and peace unfolds around you. And although you may still feel the draining effects of your mental churning, you know that God heard your prayer and offered some comfort in that moment.

And so, I remain unyielding in my quest to continue pursuing the desires of my heart.   Some people may think that it is a lost cause after a certain point.  The challenges you face may appear larger than the probability of your desired outcome.  But, deep down I know that if I start to yield to what the statistics may say, or the unbelief that sometimes clouds my thinking, I will have turned down a path of regret.

You see, I would rather remain unyielding, even in the questions, than to face the fact that I simply gave up.  I would rather remain unyielding, than to quit, because I could not make a decision about which dating site to choose.  Because when I remain unyielding to the desires of my heart, I remain focused, with an increased faith on His many promises.